1 Week

So, I've been in contact with the newest volunteers coming down here, and it has really made me think about my experience. The latest questions I got from the girl taking over my position were not simply about what kinds of clothes she should bring, but questions that led to a really long response from me. Probably more than she wanted to know, but it was nice getting it out there. It is something I'd like to share with everyone, especially those with similar questions to hers which were: What made you do this trip to Haiti? Do you think you'll go back to Haiti? and Are you excited to be coming home?

This was my response:

What made me do this trip to Haiti.. hmmm. This is a story I think I've told 100 times! By the beginning of my senior year of college I knew that during the year following my graduation I wanted to volunteer long-term. I had yet to decide where... though another choice of mine was at the Christian Appalachian Project in Eastern Kentucky. I did an alternative spring break there my junior year, and really liked the organization. Then, January of senior year (Jan. 2009) I came with my church group from college down to Haiti. It was an immersion trip, not as much a service trip. It was to learn about and witness first hand Haitian life and culture. We spent about 7 days in Port-au-Prince and two days out here in Jeremie with Bette and HHF. By the end of the trip, the rest of the group reflected how it was a great trip and really eye-opening, but that they were ready to get home. But, all I could think was, I don't want to go home! If it could have worked out, I would have stayed down here from that week on.

I knew as soon as I got back to the US that Haiti had to be the place I would volunteer. I knew the girl I ended up replacing was getting towards the end of her time here, so about two weeks after I was back in the states, I emailed Bette and asked if I could come for a year. And it was decided! I came down in August of last year after having the summer at home, and doing the Kreyol course.

In the very beginning it was hard for me. I had left a boyfriend at home, and my sister had just had a baby in May... so I felt like I was leaving a lot behind. I contemplated leaving early, saying I just couldn't do it. But I knew then, as I know now, I would have regretted that for the rest of my life. It didn't work out with the boyfriend, (though it wouldn't have if I'd stayed home either... I think this trip was a blessing in that sense as well...) and I get to go home and see how my niece has changed and really begin to build a relationship with her. I have learned so much about myself, and really grown as a person during my time here. I've learned to put things in perspective and broaden my worldview on so many levels.

It is not just about your job. As with most jobs, it is what you make it. It's about the relationships you form and all the experiences you gain and the lessons you learn. I liked working with HHF but that with the combination of my life outside was really, really what did it for me.

I was an English major for my undergrad, mainly because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I love reading. I played with the idea of going into publishing, but when I really think about it, it seems like a lot of work, very little pay, and most importantly, I don't see it directly helping someone. When I was little I wanted to be a nurse, but during my high school chemistry class (which I found very difficult) I thought I had an epiphany that I COULD NOT be a nurse because I was not great at chemistry. Well, in the years following that class I have learned that I'm capable of a lot more than I gave myself credit for back then. And now, I'm going back to school for nursing!

I am excited to get back to school, to eat an ice cream cone, take a hot shower, and kiss my newest niece, but I come near tears every time I think about leaving this place. While coming here and adjusting was hard, I think it will be significantly harder going the other direction. I currently live in Manchester, CT, grew up in Coventry. And that's where I'll be for the next few years! If you're from anywhere in New England/Northeast, we can definitely meet whenever you're home again. Let me know :)

Oh, and will I come back? Well.. if home is where the heart is, I'll never be completely at home in the US.

Cap Haitien

Like I said, I am going to make an effort to catch up and write during my last 2 months here… And now here I am, 8 days before I leave. Sorry. Here goes. I’ll write about the trip we took to Cap Haitien. For those of you who don’t know, Okap (what Haitians call Cap Haitien) is in the Northeast of the country, not far from the Dominican Republic. From what I’ve seen, Okap is the second biggest city in Haiti, second only to Port-au-Prince.

When I first met Ann back in August, we started talking about making a trip to Okap. It took us a while, but we finally got our act together and made it happen. We planned with our friend Prophete, and found a hotel to stay in right outside the city. The first leg of our journey was to get to Les Cayes. A friend of Prophete’s was taking his private car there so kindly let us ride with him. We left around 4:30 in the morning and arrived about 10AM. I basically slept the entire ride with my head rolling around and my mouth open. I’ve made that ride on a bus and on a moto, and I chose sleep over looking at the view this time.

In Les Cayes, we found a bus going to PaP at a gas station. We grabbed a pate and a couple donuts then sat in the bus waiting. After it was FULL we started on our way. Again we all slept a little bit in between stops where people gathered around the bus to sell us food and drinks. I bought tablet (like a delicious peanut brittle) and we got a lemon-lime soda. At one stop this one guy was yelling, “Makwòs, Makwòs!!” over and over and over again. It’s a type of sweet that is sold in a block, but listening to the guy shout it over and over drove us crazy. When we asked what it was he answered, “Makwòs!” to which we said, “DUH, but what is it??” Finally we found out that it was the sugary sweet stuff.

When we arrived in PaP, we needed to get to the airport so we could pick up our rental car from God-Given Rental Car… and boy was it. We finally got a woulib (ride) from one of Prophete’s friends who brought us to the airport. We went in and the very serviceable employee took good care of us. We rented a Daihatsu Terios. It was a small hatchback but it had 4-wheel drive should we have needed it. It was white, so of course we called it Ti Blan, like me. From PaP, Prophete got us on the main highway (if you can call it that, but here, all things are relative). After about 4 hours we arrived in St. Marc, a small city that was still bigger than Jeremie. We stayed overnight with Prophete’s mom. She made us dinner with a spinach-like vegetable from the Artibonite region of Haiti. It had crab, which I avoided, and we put it over rice. The next morning she made spaghetti that was spicy and delicious. We got back on the road before 7AM and continued to Okap.

We finally arrived, and thanks to Devon’s Lonely Planet book, which included a map, we were able to easily find our hotel. We stayed at Hotel Rival, just out of town, and right across the street from the sea. I would recommend this hotel to anyone! It was in good shape, clean, comfortable, had air conditioning, and hot water! The room rates included a large breakfast as well. After we paid for the room for a couple nights, and put our things down, we took the car into town to find something to eat.

After parking on a safe side street, we found a small restaurant on one of the main streets. The great thing about Okap is that the streets form a grid with vertical ones being letters, and horizontal ones being numbers. In the restaurant we asked what the options were for lunch. We were told fish and chicken. There was a Haitian guy sitting and eating at the bar. As we discussed what we wanted and tried to figure out if the items were fried or with sauce, the Haitian guy pipes up with, “It’s like chicken with gravy” in perfect English. And that’s how we met our friend Jimmy. Apparently, he had spent college in L.A. which explained his almost nonexistent accent. Jimmy was a night nurse working at the new clinic for prosthetic limbs in Milot. This hospital has hundreds of foreign doctors going in and out to help all the people from the earthquake who lost limbs. They can arrive there free of cost if they lost a limb in the earthquake. The specialists will fit the prosthetic limb and help the people get used to it.

After we ate lunch we got in the car and drove up to Labadi where Royal Caribbean cruise lines has their port. We got into the port but didn’t get to Labadi. The boat that was available was too expensive so we opted not to go to the actual town of Labadi. From outside the gate, though, we could see Royal Caribbean’s ROLLERCOASTER, and jet skis, and water trampoline, among a bunch of other fun things. We only got to look though, so we headed back toward town. That night we stopped and got ice cream! And then headed back to the hotel. After we all had hot showers we basically settled in for the night, reading and watching ESPN2 or, The Lebron James Channel. We had a TV but that was the only channel that came in…

We had made plans to meet Jimmy in Milot the next day to see the hospital. He gave us a quick tour of the actual hospital, and the makeshift clinic for amputees. I made a fast friend who held my hand during the whole tour, and then let go when it was time to leave. Overall, we were impressed with the operation there. It made me envious of all the nurses.

Jimmy decided to come along with us to the Citadelle, and he brought a buddy of his that is also a tour guide. After the drive up to the parking lot that the people there have named, “Parking” we started our ascent to the actual citadel. Some people took donkeys up the road, but we decided to walk… it actually wasn’t that bad. The Citadelle was pretty cool… it has a really interesting history behind it. And it’s not really regulated, so you don’t pay to get in, and there aren’t really any areas you can’t get to (except for the random bedroom that remains a mystery to me).

After walking around and taking pictures we headed to Palais Sans Souci (in French that means ‘without eyebrows’ which makes me giggle, but it also means ‘without worries’ which makes a lot more sense). Unfortunately, there’s not much left of the palace so we were forced to use our imaginations in envisioning what once was a grand palace.

The trip after that wasn’t anything too exciting. We had a good dinner at a really nice restaurant, where I was able to find an ice cream sundae!! And then drove around for another day where we saw Fort Liberte, which had some nice views, and went to the town of Ouanaminthe, the border town with the DR.

We then got to drive back to St. Marc, and then to PAP where thankfully we flew to Jeremie. Even though Prophete hates flying, I was grateful for the break.

Sorry it's been 4 months...

Wow. I really did a poor job of updating this blog, and I apologize to those who check for updates! It’s the same as keeping a journal to me- I love the idea, and I have lots of things I want to remember and share with others, but I can’t make myself write about what has become my life. In the beginning everything was so new, and I wanted to write about all the differences that I came across, but now I kind of just find myself accepting things and not questioning them quite as much. I’m going to try to write some catch up things.. new things I’ve learned and experienced.

I’m going to start with WHERE DID THE TIME GO? I cannot believe I have just over two months left here… There was a period where time was going slowly, and now I can’t seem to slow it down! Just as in the end of any part of my life (high school, college) the end of my time here will be bittersweet. I am so happy in my decision to have come here and would not change it for anything. I love my life here, the people I’ve met, the ways in which I’ve grown, and all of the things I’ve learned about the world and myself. But on the other hand, I am also ecstatic to be going home. I am excited for all the plans I have, and the next steps I’m taking in my life. I feel like the experiences I’ve had here have impacted me in ways that have changed me forever. I’m so grateful to have that to carry around with me.

I told Ann I get especially sad about leaving when I’m eating an abriko, or swimming at Anse d’Azure, but when I talk to my friends and family at home I am equally excited to be able to see them regularly again. Anyway, I don’t want to dwell on the fact that I’m leaving… I’m still here and I want to share some new things…

A lot has happened in the 4 months since I last wrote. Port-au-Prince is still a mess… I feel that it will take a long time to get it back to the way it used to be, which wasn’t a great state anyway. I was in the capital for a few days over the last few months… and it’s hard to describe. In my personal opinion, Port-au-Prince was not a beautiful city to begin with, so besides collapsed buildings and tent cities it is difficult for me to point out changes. I’ve never spent more than a few days in the capital at a time, and cannot make my way around myself, so I cannot provide much detail. What I can say is what I’ve heard from others… For instance, that people are receiving aid in the tent cities so they do not want to move back into their homes even if they’ve been deemed safe to live in. I’ve heard that someone (the government? Aid organizations?) are thinking about giving an incentive to families hesitant to move home. Like, if you go back to your house, we’ll give you $50. They want to start clearing out the tent cities, which I can understand. But, even though I said people are receiving aid in the tent cities, I’ve also seen spray painting and signs outside that say “we’re hungry” and pictures of a crying Haiti… It boggles my mind and hurts me to know there’s no quick and easy way to ease the suffering.

Out here in Jeremie things are about the same. A lot of people have started going back to Port-au-Prince to pick up the pieces of their life and start over. People are looking for work, and going back to school or looking for a new school if theirs was destroyed. There were a few weeks where we didn’t have much gas/diesel out here and no city power, but there weren’t any MAJOR outages of anything. Of course there were thieves on the road to Port-au-Prince who stole food and supplies coming out to this region, but nothing horrific happened that I know of. There was a point for about a week when the US Army was here with supplies and checking out the situation around Jeremie. They helped HHF bring supplies from PAP on one of their cargo boats. There was not nearly as much on there that could have been on there, but it was still a great help.

HHF continues in the earthquake relief effort. There are still many families dealing with extra people that came from PAP, and lingering injuries. It’s as though it has become the norm now.

In the wake of everything that has happened, we have continued operations of all of our regular projects in addition to earthquake relief. For me this means mainly the Next Generation of Healthy Women program. Youth from 29 villages were trained in the Responsible Sexuality course, and we are now finishing up our “Girls Health Days” which now include boys as well. We take height, weight, hemoglobin, and blood pressure in order to check for malnutrition and give iron to anemic girls. We are focused on the girls that will be playing soccer this season. We want to make sure they are healthy enough to practice and play all summer. Johns Hopkins University nursing students are coming at the end of the month to help with the last two Girls Health Days.

We also have 2 med students down to study breastfeeding and prenatal care especially pertaining to women who came from PAP after the earthquake. It will be interesting to see what they find.. if there are any differences.

In May I went to Cap Haitien with Ann and another friend, but I will write another entry on that… Haiti has a crazy and interesting history, most of which none of us are taught in school, which is interesting in itself.

I promise to write more soon!

Vaca That Needed a Vaca of Its Own

Recently we had a few days off for Mardi Gras, and decided to make the most out of it by getting out of Jeremie. We originally had planned to go to Jacmel for Mardi Gras, however it is just as devastated as Port-au-Prince since the earthquake. Instead, we looked at Devon's Lonely Planet book and decided on Port Salut, just outside of Les Cayes. It was a super quick decision to do it.. Ann called Hotel du Village in Port Salut to talk about rates, and we consulted friends on transportation.

Finally it was decided that we would take moto taxis to Les Cayes and catch a tap-tap from there to Port Salut. A good friend (and quite the gentleman!) organized our motos for us, and got one for himself as he too was headed out that way. You may or may not know, but Haiti is known for its deplorable roads. The road from Port-au-Prince to Jeremie is no exception, especially the Les Cayes to Jeremie portion. We opted for motos because it was either a 4 hour moto ride or a 10 hour bus ride, most likely leaving in the middle of the night.

The following morning we were up and ready for 10AM, equipped with water, sunblock, sunglasses, and hats. Motos arrived caravan style outside the front gate around 10:30 and we were on our way! Of course, I ended up choosing the trailblazer who was a good 3 minutes ahead of everybody, flying down the good parts of the road. One hour into the ride, I had blisters on my hands and a sore back. I could not have been happier by the time we arrived in Les Cayes (until our ride home, which I'll get to soon). We found a tap-tap to Port Salut and just waited for it to fill up, and they really do fill up! A tap-tap is usually a modified pick-up truck where you pay and then get on until you get to where you want to be. You tap the side of the truck when you want it to stop, and that's where the name comes from.

This was my first official tap-tap ride (we took one from Chambellan to Jeremie, but we rented it just for us and there were no other passengers) and it was a decent experience, considering it did not break down in any way. Two guys that were clearly from Port-au-Prince (trust me, you can pick these people out) were quite entertaining. And it turned out that one of them spoke excellent english, so he helped us find our way to the hotel in his hometown, Port Salut. I'm sure we could have managed, but it was still helpful. On the ride we stopped because there was a huge group of people in the road, and apparently the driver and others wanted to know what was going on. So we stopped and people went to find a huge snake that the people were killing! Well, I guess they had killed it just before we got there. Haitians are generally afraid of cold-skinned creatures such as snakes and frogs. The only other incident after that was when we couldn't make it up the hill. The truck was pretty packed and we were going up a long hill... so we all had to get out and walk up the hill and meet the truck at the top.

We passed right by our hotel, so we were dropped off right in front. The lady that runs the place is French and very nice, so she gave us a nice room and we went right in the water. The beach was long and clean, and the water is really calm. It's not quite as clear as our normal beach, Anse d'Azure, but it was still beautiful. The picture at the top is sunset the second night we were there.

I am trying so many new things here, and getting used to things as well. Since I got here I have become a firm believer that a person can get used to ANYTHING. I barely cry when I see a spider anymore, I eat bananas, I take cold showers every day, I never have cheese, and I can sleep even when dogs are barking and roosters are crowing at ridiculous times. But my latest improvement is that I ate a FISH. All by myself. Mum and Dad should be so proud! As a kid the closest I would get to a fish was jumping in the water my dad was trying to catch one in! Here's a pic:

Okay, so Ann had to cut the head off for me before I could eat it, but fish for me is a big step! And it was delicious, but nothing compared to the fish that I ate on the last night. AND Rachel shared the fish with me! She's a very very bad vegetarian :-P

So, our vacation basically consisted of lying on the beach and reading, playing euchre (a card game Ann taught us) and walking in the town. I finished reading Mercy by Jodi Picoult and picked up Tess of the d'Urbervilles where I left off before Christmas. (I still haven't decided how I feel about it... but I don't love it). In town we were able to find some delicious peanut brittle and Devon found some bread. But the beach was definitely the high point.

Apparently Port Salut and Taiwan have a cooperation project for tourism at Pointe Sable, so the people make a concerted effort to keep the beach clean and provide delicious food and the best part is, they don't ask us for things! In Jeremie the people are so used to whites coming and handing things out (not a good thing...) they expect it all the time. For volunteers such as myself, it is a big problem because I honestly have nothing to give them. But in Port Salut people were interested in their own lives and didn't come and try to speak english to us or ask us for presents or anything. When I couldn't finish my dinner I gave it to this young kid sitting behind us and he was grateful, but didn't ask for anything. It was just a casual thing and it was really nice.

After our 3 wonderful days in Port Salut it was time to come home to Jeremie. Our original plan was to come back in a private car with the same friend that brought us to Les Cayes, but the chauffeur lost the key so we had to make alternate plans. After arguing with moto drivers to get a ride to Les Cayes (they wanted wayyyy to much and tried taking advantage of us, but we know better) we ended up in Les Cayes looking for a bus. Well, we found a bus and paid, but we did NOT realize that it was already full. So, Ann and Devon got on the back door, and Rachel and I got on the front but there was NO WHERE TO GO. We ended up standing for 5 hours, and that is not even the worst part of the entire ride.

Standing, packed between people, made me more claustrophobic than I have ever been in my life. I am not a big fan of crowds, and that combined with the fact there was nowhere to go made me a little nervous. The road is terrible, as I mentioned before, and this forced us to go really slowly. About 2 hours into the ride, there was a huge rock in the road we could not get over, so we started to back up so we could get some momentum to make it over, but we were right on the edge of the cliff. The best part was looking over the cliff and seeing a bus down at the bottom from who knows how long ago. Well, the Haitians started FREAKING out and jumping out of the bus. They were screaming and climbing over each other to jump out the door. They broke the front door in order to get out. This scared me. Probably close to the top of my "Scariest Moments of my Life" list. Obviously we did not fall off the cliff, but it felt like we were going to and that was enough. I looked at Ann in the back of the bus and she mouthed to me "No wonder these people pray so much." Yeah, no kidding. I even contemplated getting off the bus at that point, but once we made it, we were back on our way.

The same thing happened about an hour later but it was less scary and more annoying. Because when all these people get off, they have to get back on and it takes time. Finally, about halfway to Jeremie, some people started to get off, and Rachel and I were able to sit. Slightly more comfortable. Until the time came when we stop and Ann says, that we should probably get off because there's a huge cutout in the road they are throwing rocks in to fill so we can pass without sliding off the cliff. At this point, everyone gets off the bus and walks a little ways ahead until we can get back on. I was never happier to see the Jeremie bus station. Even in the pouring rain.

Through the whole trip we told ourselves what we always tell ourselves (thanks to our friend Stet) especially when things aren't going quite the way we wish they would: N'ap fe eksperyans= we're experiencing.

When we got off the bus and looked back at it.. the name on the front? Experience.

Pinez!

Here is a quick picture of the pinez bites I received before Christmas. Pinez are like bed bugs but they live in the woven chairs here. I was out in the village of Campagne sitting in on a Responsible Sexuality session, and I didn't even know I was being bitten! But I sure felt them later. The only relief I had while I was out there was to go into the bedroom and scratch until I was satisfied! When I got back to Jeremie I was able to get some cortizone which provided relief, but they were nasty bites while they lasted! I had over 100 on the backs of my thighs!

Update

It is a beautiful, sunny day here in Jeremie today (though already a little hot for 9 AM) and I wanted to give you a quick update of what's going on here at HHF.

The last boat we received was a week ago, bringing with it another 1,500 people. Camions and tap-taps (buses) continue to come in with those leaving Port-au-Prince, though at a slower rate than in the beginning. Hopefully it will continue slowing down this way, as the town is already packed with people. As we drive and walk around, there are noticeably more cars and people in the streets. There is a Haitian proverb that says 'The streets are the living room of the people' so it's easy to notice the increased number around town as they are outside and not in their homes. It is also interesting because you can sometimes pick out those from Port-au-Prince, as you might be able to pick out someone from NYC in a rural area in the US.

The best recent news is that we have been able to get supplies into town. We received two large tractor trailers within the last week, and just yesterday 4 small airplanes arrived straight from Florida for us. The trucks came from Catholic Relief Services with food, and the airplanes were paid for by private HHF donors in the US, bringing food and supplies. In addition, we were able to help out our Haitian staff of 150 with earthquake relief donations given to HHF. On Friday of last week I helped our accountant count out $30,000 and divide it into packets of $200 to be given out to each member of staff--from laundresses to doctors. Passing out the cash brought out more smiles than we have seen in the last couple weeks combined.

Another volunteer like me, Rachel, did some research to see how the staff here in Jeremie have been affected by the earthquake, and the subsequent influx of people here in town. Her findings showed that 44 out of 114 houses were damaged, and an average of 5 people were coming to live in houses that already housed an average of 7 people--That is a lot of mouths to feed! So, it was great to actually see the money going out to our staff members as it is much needed just to feed the people in their homes right now.

In addition to these arrivals of food and supplies, we are working on getting our usual container from Port-au-Prince. The Connecticut office had packed it in October to be sent down by boat. We should have received it in December, but there was a delay in customs, followed by the earthquake, so we are lucky it is even intact. Hopefully this will arrive soon with much needed food and supplies!

Please continue to keep Haiti in your thoughts!

From HHF...

WATCH HHF ON PBS TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

Dear HHF Supporter,

Amidst the tireless planning and relief work that Haitian Health Foundation employees and volunteers are providing to the thousands of people fleeing Port-au-Prince, we are reminded that we also continue our mission of nearly 30 years to the people who were already living in our area prior to the earthquake. Among HHF's food and nutrition, education, housing, and other programs for the people of Jérémie and its surrounding 100+ villages, HHF provides prenatal programs and emergency evacuations to pregnant mothers in the far reaches of the Grand'Anse.

At the time of the earthquake, we were just a few days into a week-long visit by the award-winning PBS program NOW, led by documentarian Mary Olive Smith and crew. Although the earthquake cut short their shooting schedule, amazingly they have already produced a final piece—called Saving Haiti's Mothers—that will air on PBS's NOW program this Friday, January 29, at 8:30 pm in many markets. (The actual air time varies city by city, so click here to determine the scheduled time in your city.)

I hope you will take the time to view this documentary to observe the work that you are helping to support. Scores of pregnant women have come from Port-au-Prince—and already we've had reports of some of them giving birth in Jérémie upon their arrival! This is just one of the programs that HHF is proudly gearing up in order to assist the thousands of people who are being added to our catchment area for the long term.

Thank you for your support of this vital maternal and infant health program—and all of HHF's programs for the people of the Grand'Anse. And please keep our neighbors in Haiti in your thoughts and prayers.

Jeremiah J. Lowney, Jr., DDS, MPH

Founder and President
Haitian Health Foundation

---

From PBS:

Haiti's catastrophic earthquake, in addition to leaving lives and institutions in ruin, also exacerbated a much more common and lethal emergency in Haiti: Dying during childbirth. Challenges in transportation, education, and quality health care contribute to Haiti having the highest maternal mortality rate in the Western Hemisphere, a national crisis even before the earthquake struck.

While great strides are being made with global health issues like HIV/AIDS, maternal mortality figures worldwide have seen virtually no improvement in 20 years. Worldwide, over 500,000 women die each year during pregnancy.

On Friday, January 29 at 8:30 pm (check local listings for your specific area), a NOW team that had been working in Haiti during the earthquake reports on this deadly but correctable trend. They meet members of the Haitian Health Foundation (HHF), which operates a network of health agents in more than 100 villages, engaging in pre-natal visits, education, and emergency ambulance runs for pregnant women.

The United Nations Population Fund, which trains midwives to share life-saving birth techniques, says that with proper funding, public support, and wider application of simple but scarce innovations, such deaths could be reduced by nearly 70%.

As humanitarian attention on Haiti slowly fades, the issue of maternity mortality remains as imperative as ever. But with an estimated 63,000 women in Haiti currently pregnant—and a main midwife training school devastated by the earthquake—the mission of keeping mothers alive has never been more daunting.

NOW co-produced this program with the Bureau for International Reporting.

This is Long Overdue & Everything Has Changed

I've been wanting to write an update for months... but have pushed it back in favor of doing things that involved other people. At this point, though, it feels as if there is no point in recounting anything that happened since my last update.. as though none of it matters anymore. I know deep down that it does, but I can't bring myself to write about it all now... Instead I will give my personal account of the earthquake.

If you have not heard about this earthquake... you are living under a rock. I'm sure at this point everyone at least has some idea what's going on down here. And others can probably give a play-by-play. CNN was on like 24/7 coverage of the aftermath. I am 100 miles from the capital, but we are in no way unaffected...

January 12, 2010 changed a country I have come to know and love.

Thankfully, I was very lucky in that I did not lose anyone in Port-au-Prince. It took a few days to find out... the phone lines were tied up and no one could get a hold of anyone. I was calling Junior, Yvens, Yoldy, Ysnive, over and over again. I found out through the HHF grapevine that Junior was okay, and then found out via facebook that Yoldy and Yvens were okay. When Junior arrived in Jeremie, I found out his family in PAP was okay. I know many other people were not so fortunate to have everyone safe and accounted for, and my heart goes out to them. But at the same time I can't help but be happy all my friends are okay.

Everyone has been telling me they are happy I'm okay and telling me they are proud of me and to keep up the good work. However, I have done nothing. Being out here was a waiting game, and left me feeling useless and helpless. The only thing I could do was stay here to show the people I wasn't going to up and leave as soon as things became more difficult.

It seems many people have come out of the woodwork to help Haiti. I have heard from my 6th grade teacher and another volunteer down here, Devon, has heard from various teachers as well. I summed up the immediate aftermath of the earthquake in some emails that I will put here.. I can't think of any other ways to write it...

As of right now HHF is in conservation mode, but kind of carrying on business as usual. All the Haitian staff takes a half day, and we did not go out to villages last week in order to conserve diesel fuel. In our clinic we take anyone from town, including those who arrive from PAP. There is not much damage here, so there's not a big relief effort, but the long-term effects will be seen throughout the entire country.

We are in contact with a documentary producer (Emmy Award winning Mary Olive Smith) who was actually here when the earthquake hit doing a piece on HHF regarding maternal health in rural villages, and plans on returning very soon. She has a 1 year old at home who she wanted to get back to so she was airlifted out of Jeremie and brought to Santo Domingo in order to fly home. The point is, Mary Olive is returning in order to film what's going on in Jeremie as all these people from PAP come home to their families in the Grand' Anse region.

So far, many trucks and one boat have come in carrying people from PAP. We went to the wharf at 5:00 last Sunday morning in order to film and take pictures of all the people coming in. We were the only foreigners there, save the UN, so the effort was completely community organized. The scouts (like boy scouts), the Haitian Red Cross, and local police organized the disembarkation. It was incredibly well-organized, and great to see the community come together like that. Women living near the wharf brought huge pots of soup and buckets of water for the people, and the UN had those biscuits they were giving out to the kids.

I took a lot of pictures, but having no medical skills I was not as useful as I would have liked. However, I did end up getting right up next to the boat and held babies as they were passed over the side and waited for the parents to come collect them. There was a whole group of little ones just waiting with me, and as parents saw that I was there, they were just throwing their kids at me while they got themselves organized. Except for one little girl who was terrified of me and would not come within 3 feet of me...

We received 2 more boats in last Thursday with a total of around 4,000 people. Again it was well-organized, which is always great to see in a country such as Haiti when things can get so crazy. It's a little strange because the people coming into the region are actually coming HOME. The only universities are in PAP, so families that have enough money send their children there to go to school or to work. Now with everything the way it is in PAP, these people are coming home. The strange part is that once everyone leaves the wharf to go back to houses, you can't see a difference in the city. It's not like there are people living on the street, they all have a home to go to. The differences are seen in the prices at the market, as there are no imports coming out to Jeremie from PAP. The usual boat that brings food is being used to bring the people instead.

The other noticeable difference is all the kids being home from school. The country shut schools down until mid-February so everyone can find their families and figure out how people are going to live with all the extra people at home now. It is sad that they are shutting down schools because so many kids want to be there (if they are lucky enough to be there to begin with... families have to pay to send their kids to school here) and now they are missing out on the opportunity.

In spite of all this, I still see people smiling, and just dealing with the issues at hand in the best ways possible. Everyone has heard of how poor Haiti is, but it is amazing to see the people coming together to take care of each other.

There was another boat due in on Monday morning, but it did not arrive until that evening. We are also waiting for an airplane of food that an HHF donor sent down. In addition, there is a Methodist pilot coming down this Saturday to bring things in.

What is difficult for the people around here is the increased number of people in households and the higher prices of food in the market. All the boats coming from PAP have people and not the usual food supply so everything is a little more expensive. We stocked up in the days immediately following the earthquake, so we are okay, but it is difficult for our neighbors who have extra mouths to feed. It is truly unfortunate for us here because we see so much need but we cannot hand out food or money (personally, as foreigners) because we cannot give to EVERYONE. The most we can really do is have friends over for dinner.

I thank everyone who has begun fundraising for Haiti, and the relief efforts here. Coventry Public Schools and Pension Consultants, Inc. have both pledged to raise funds for HHF and our continuing efforts in the Grand 'Anse region.

Thank you for keeping me and the people of Haiti in your thoughts and prayers... It's too bad it had to take such a disaster for America to REALLY begin caring about their neighbor.

Like vs. Love

I recently started teaching English classes downtown. My class is pretty comfortable, but not what I would call advanced. My classes are on Monday and Tuesday from 6-7 PM. On the first day of class I didn't really have anything planned so I just showed up and hoped to get ideas from the class on what we should do this session. They know things they have already covered and things they need/want to know. No one really had a lot to say. My next bright idea is to tell them "Okay, how about you ask me questions about myself so you can get to know me."

This is a class full of guys and one girl. The first question, then, is: "Do you have a boyfriend?" and the following conversation ensues:

"No, I don't."
"If God told you you were supposed to have a Haitian boyfriend, would you listen?"
"Oh, did God tell you we were supposed to be together?"
"Yes."
"Well, he didn't tell me that, but if he does I will let you know."
The entire class laughs.

The questions only get stranger from here. Like "If I get a girl pregnant in the US and then leave for Haiti, what is the law?" Excuse me? I don't think there's a law for that... I wasn't sure how to respond to this one... They aren't going to send you the child in Haiti, I'm sure of that.

Tuesday I had a lesson planned on pronunciation because the students tend to have trouble with words beginning with vowels; they put an H sound at the beginning of "ear" for instance--completely changing the meaning of the word. That turned out to be a really good lesson and helpful for them with different vowel sounds. When we finished I asked if they had any questions. This question turned out to be "What is the difference between like and love?"

In Kreyol, there is only one word for both- renmen.
M renmen ou. = I love you.
M ta renmen bwe ti dlo. = I would like to drink a little water.

A common misconception is that "like" is for things and "love" is for people. I like bananas. I like to read. I love my mom. I love my husband. I love my friend. I love you. At first, I thought a good way of explaining this is that the different lies in HOW MUCH you feel for whatever it is you're talking about. I told them, I love my mom, I love my best friends, I like drinking juice, and I like walking, but also that I like the people I work with, I love to read, and I love swimming. I told them that random people on the street that don't know me can't love me. I explained that I don't like when someone comes up to me on the street and tells me "I love you." Especially when they tack baby on the end of it. I told them you can't love someone if you don't know them.

They didn't buy it. They told me, "Teacher? Teacher, no. No, I think you're wrong." They said, "But, I do love you." Okay, I needed to come at this from a different angle. Being that Haitians are a very religious people for the most part, I tried bringing Jesus into the explanation. I told them, "You know how Jesus taught us to love every other human? That is okay. I do love you all because you are people and we all need to care for one another, but there are different kinds of love. That kind is okay. But there is also romantic love... and that's usually when you tell someone you love them. For instance, when we leave tonight I am not going to tell you 'Have a good night, I love you.' I would only say that to my friends and family."

I still do not think the explanation was clear. After that, I had to tell them that I think we are having a problem explaining cultural differences and not language differences. Because they also did not really understand when I told them I ignore guys on the street that make kissy noises or call me Baby or any of that. They didn't understand why I didn't like people telling me they love me on the street. How am I supposed to explain that? (Please! If you have any ideas on how to explain like vs. love leave a comment and let me know! Or even just tell me what YOU think about the difference.. I think this is a really interesting cultural difference...)

My housemates and I discuss this often because it is such a part of our every day. We walk by TONS of people all the time, and have the opportunity to meet people all over. Getting in with girls is best, because mostly they'll just make fun of you until they know you. Guys it's easy to get in with because everyone wants to learn English (supposedly). We always wish we could meet good people to hang out with. For instance- non-sketchy guys who don't say I love you blah blah blah. However, we have had to re-evaluate what "sketchy" means to us here. Now we have begun realizing that in this culture, it's okay to approach a female like that. To them, loving someone upon meeting them is okay.

There's also a problem with people knowing just a little English, especially when they think it's good English or have no idea what they are actually saying. "Hey bitch..." is not the way to get a good reaction. Nor is it a good idea to text a new American friend good night and tell them you want to listen to their sexy voice before you go to sleep. On the other hand, people with good English, or people who have spent a lot of time with Americans, seem to understand this cultural difference between us and tone the intensity down a lot. I realized on my first trip to Haiti that relationships and interactions can be very intense. They are genuine and beautiful, but it's hard coming from the culture I've grown up in (esp. in CT) and being so vocal with people you've just met.

After spending two days with a health agent, Maude, in her village, I ended up with a God-daughter. Maude told me she loved me halfway through the first day and that she was going to miss me. My God-daughter calls me to see how her God-mother is and to tell me she misses me. I can deal with the intensity of that kind of relationship. Those friendly, between women, interactions are ones I am comfortable with. It's not easy for me to jump in with I NEVER SEE YOU I MISS YOU MY HEART HURTS etc. but I can hear it and appreciate it and respond. Even if we feel these things, I feel like American culture would never allow us to say it. And especially not in such an overt, genuine, and articulate way. Even with people we feel really close to, we cannot even be open with our feelings. I do not really have this problem; I wear my heart on my sleeve. This may be why I can deal with the theatrics of social interactions here.

Being in another culture is an amazing way to really look at the culture you come from. I have learned so many things here, and hope I can bring them back with me when I return. The number of ways we embarrass ourselves at home is ridiculous. From awkward silences to tripping up the stairs to dancing in public. I am already comfortable dancing here even though I am horrible. I still don't sing and no one understands why (maybe I should and then they'd understand) because they don't only do things when they are GOOD at them, but when they LIKE to do them (or love to do them... whatever.) I will never get over the singing thing, but dancing is a big step for me.

Or, even stranger is the extremely fun and repetetive action of picture taking. We ALWAYS smile, or do a thought out silly face. But here they will get into a serious pose because they want a nice picture. Seriously, if a guy at home was like wait- and went and stood with their hands together looking to the sky, wouldn't everyone make fun of him a little bit? Or feel embarrassment FOR him? I know I get embarrassed for people sometimes, and I'm sure tonnnns of people get embarrassed for me all the time. But people just do what they want, and in this case, it's not anything to be ashamed of.

So, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED. One of the biggest lessons I am learning.

Casino Cookies & Cultural Clashes

THE DATE ON THIS IS NOT ENTIRELY CORRECT. I started writing it on Sept. 25, but I just finished today WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 7, 2009.

I like all the consonance in the title, but there's not much significance to the "casino cookies" apart from the fact that I LOVE them. They are a delicious sandwich cookie that come from.. I want to say Argentina. They have a sweet toffee/coffee/caramel -ish flavored filling and are absolutely divine. They come 4 to a package and I go and buy in bulk so I get 6 packages at a time. I hate to share them because they are so good.

This is sort of a catch-up entry because I haven't written in a while so there will be a lot of random things...

Okay on to the cultural clashes. In addition to Callie, I also lived with a Haitian doctor. She is doing her residency at HHF and then returning to Port-au-Prince. Well, the day after my birthday, so almost two weeks ago, we had the most awkward interaction. Callie's godson's baptism was at our house followed by a party that Sunday night. I was asked to get a couple Prestiges (Haiti's beer) from the fridge for some of the guests. No problem. On my way out one of the neighbor boys said "Eske ou deja ouvri sa yo?" Have you already opened those? No, I didn't because i figured there would be a bottle-opener outside. I don't know, I don't drink here. He says that the doctor has one, so I go downstairs to her part of the house and say "Eske ou gen cle?" Do you have a bottle-opener? Then I proceed to speak in English because her English is better than my Kreyol. Alright well she lets me open them and all is well, people are happy they have their beer.

The next morning she came to my bedroom and told me she needed to talk to me. Turns out she felt I was very rude to her. She told me that she may have had help to go to med school but she is not poor. She also told me I could speak to the neighbor boys however I wanted to, but she has money and I need to give her more respect. I was so taken aback by the fact that she thought I was rude all I did was apologize and tell her I did not intend to sound that way. Looking back, even 10 minutes later, I wished I had told her "I'm sorry I sounded rude, but I don't care whether you have money or not. I would never speak differently to you than I would to the neighbors. I would never speak to people differently no matter what country I was in, whether they live on the street or in a mansion.." But, I did not. Oh well.

Many people are fascinated by my ears. I have 8 earrings (6 lobe, 1 cartilage, 1 rook) and people ALWAYS ask me why. I usually say, I don't know.. because I like it...? I was walking through a shortcut last week and a girl stopped me and said "Poukisa ou gen anpil bagay...?" Why do you have a lot of things ( points to my ears) And I gave her the usual response. Well, she got very serious and said "Eske ou konnen legliz? Eske ou priye a Bondye?" Do you know church? Do you pray to God?" I said yes. And she puts one finger in the air and says "Li di en sel." He says one only. I said "Li pa t di'm sa" He didn't tell me that... so she stood there trying to convince me that God said that we can only have one earring in each ear, and I told her that it doesn't matter to Him, that He loves us whether we have 4, 1, or zero. I don't think she bought it but I told her "M'ap mande l." I'll ask him. We both laughed and said bye. So that was a strange conversation, but it made me laugh, and it wasn't angry, we both left happy.

I receive a lot of mixed greetings/reactions here (as do all foreigners). Some people smile and say hello, some people smile and say whore, some people don't smile. You cannot make a general statement about "the people of Haiti" or any country because every person is different. It doesn't matter what you're from. When in Jeremie, being called blan can be considered rude. I don't turn my head when I hear it. If it's a little kid I'll say "ayisien." If we are "foreigner" then they are "haitian." If it's a little kid I can stop and talk to, I tell them that my name se Marissa, pa blan. Little kids do what they see, so you can't blame them. I like explaining that my name is not blan and it's not nice because maybe next time they won't say BLAN if they want your attention.

Most people here know that blan is considered rude. Out in the villages is a different story. It really just means foreigner which in itself does not have negative connotations.

Getting my (or other americans' i know) attention can be difficult for people. A lot of times boys and men make disgusting kissy noises.. you just keep walking, blan!... just keep walking, baby... just keep walking. Bonswa, bonjou, madmwazel.. these I will respond to. Kissy noises are not the politest way to begin a conversation.. so they don't.

There was group of taxis, and one of them was like EY BABY, BABY so I kept walking. One of the others said "li pa komprann." Easy to ignore, but I wished I had turned and said "Wi m komprann sa. Tout moun komprann 'BABY!'" Yes I understand that, everyone understands "baby!" It's nice when you get a chance to talk to people because then you understand each other and can talk about the ways you would like to be spoken to. (note: not EVERYONE is rude about getting attention.. just happens a lot.) But, any opportunity I get, I impart some tips on how to speak to a GIRL. Because it's not only American girls who don't like kissy noises or being called baby.

My favorite are children. Minus the kid on the way to the beach who thrusts and makes stupid faces when you go by. But, like I said before, you can't blame him.. he mimicks what he sees. Kids are easy to talk to, or make faces at, or tickle, or whatever. They are funny too because they are sometimes genuinely curious/fascinated by how different we look. I can't blame them for looking.. there's not a ton of white people here to look at. That's another strange feeling... to know you look completely different from anyone else... people constantly stare and talk and point.. etc. I've gotten pretty used to it now, I just smile back or say hello. It will be nice to land in NY for Christmas and blend in! That's something I'm looking forward to about being back in the states.

It has been 2 months already! I am 1/6 of my way done. I can't believe it's already been that long. I am so happy to have Ann and Marie Pierre here, and some new people coming. It's nice to have people you can really relate to and be outcasts together. If Callie left and there was no one here for me to spend time with, I honestly don't think I'd be able to stay here. I love what I do, but it's hard when it's lonely. When I was sick shortly after I arrived, I lay in bed for almost 3 days watching shows and movies on my computer, and had pretty much decided i was going home to stay in December. Ann saved me! I am so happy I am here =]

I moved into a new house this past weekend! I didn't want to be alone when Callie left, so now I live with Ann and Marie Pierre. We spent the entire weekend cleaning and moving in. Now I have screens, clean and comfortable places to sit, a gorgeous verandah (woohoo) and internet! Most importantly I live with two awesome girls I can talk to and have fun with in a place we are not entirely used to! I have pictures of my house and some other things that I am going to put on facebook, but I will start a shutterfly account or something for people who do not have facebook and want to see the pictures. I'll put the link up here when I do it.

Sorry this is so jumbled and random. Next post will be more about my job and what I do in my free time!

I've got to get ready for the beach! Another perk of living in the Caribbean =]

Big Happenings

Okay, not really big happenings, but exciting things for me! Things have gotten a lot better since my last post. I was feeling really homesick at that time and being sick did not help. I was having doubts about whether I could/wanted to do this. I suppose that's to be expected during a big change though. I feel great now, and am so happy I am here and did not make any rash decisions when I was feeling down.

Since my last post kind of a lot has happened. I have started hanging out with Ann a lot more. She works in finance and is from south of Chicago. We get along great and I love going to her apartment because it is comfy to hang out... it has a nicer living space and screens so I'm not constantly swatting at ants and mosquitos, or crying because of spiders and cockroaches. She, Marie Pierre and I decided we would all like to live together. Well, this is how it happened. Marie Pierre does not like where she is living now so she was going to rent Callie's apartment from HHF once Callie left. However, when the topic was brought up to Dr. Lowney he said no because he had already promised that apartment to me. I was like NOOOO I'd rather have Marie Pierre live with me than live by myself but have that apartment. Then we got the idea that the three of us could live together in one of the other houses for several reasons:

1. we like each other's company
2. i want a house with screens
3. security of walking home with someone
4. FUN

Dr. Lowney brought it up to Sr. Maryann and we went to see the Springfield House yesterday. Springfield House is in Sant Lespwa (Center of Hope- the maternal waiting home and kwashiorkor center) and is huge with a tall tin roof and screens! We will also have internet! I am also excited because we are going to get 2 cats because with the tin roof there is a potential for rats.. but kitties can take care of that :) So this weekend we are going to start cleaning- no one has lived there for a while so we need to take down all the curtains, have the walls painted, sweep, mop, clean the kitchen and bathroom, etc. There are rat remains, dead spiders, and dead cockroaches sooooo we need to do a THOROUGH cleaning. I am really excited.

Clearly I could not wait to get all that out there. So, as far as my job...

Last week Dr. Lowney was here with visitors so I went out to villages with them Tuesday through Friday. I didn't do a ton, but it turned out to be really good because I got to go to villages I haven't been to before and also do stuff with the Happy Houses and Goat project. I like getting out and about and learning more about what I need to do. I get nervous about the language barrier still, I am getting better but am far from fluent, but I know I am making progress as far as getting comfortable with the organization and seeing how things are done, who I need to speak to for something in particular, etc.

As of right now I just do what is asked of me on a daily basis. I input a lot of data concerning education, soccer, midwives, vitamins.. random data that needs to get entered into the computer. Next week I am going to learn about upkeep of the Hybiscus Shop (craft store) because I am going to help with that when visitors come. Also I am going down to HHF's school St. Pierre School to take pictures of the kids eating lunch to send to the food donor. And I just remembered that in the mornings next week I have to go over to Center of Hope and help pull charts because they are understaffed at the moment. Basically I just go around wherever I am needed and do what I am told. That is okay with me :)

Tomorrow is my birthday. In the afternoon we are doing school books for children of Save a Family (a welfare-type program) then going to Bette's for a late lunch. Ann is making me a cake so we'll have that there too, and then do something tomorrow night to celebrate too. It will be my first birthday away from home!

My Second Week and a Half

Okay so I left off on 2 Fridays ago. We went out to Moron for the day to a post. Laura came which was good because she was able to keep me with what was going on. It was a bumpy ride but not too long. At one point we had to stop and walk across a river. We had coolers and boxes to bring so some local women came and carried things on their heads. Laura and Sergo had pants on so they had to take them off and carry them but luckily I was wearing a skirt so I could just walk across. The water wasn’t that deep but because I am short it went a little higher on me than on everyone else.

That week was international breastfeeding week, so we talked all about that at the post. Different mothers groups and girls groups did skits and songs about breastfeeding and waiting to have sex. Breastfeeding is really important for babies (obviously), but especially here when people have so little. There is no reason babies should be malnourished if their mother is able to provide breastmilk for them. The women sang about some of the benefits of breastfeeding. Sometimes women may think with the heat they need to give their babies water, but there is water in the milk so babies will not be dehydrated. Also, bringing the baby right to the breast after birth helps the mother’s placenta to drop which eliminates health risks for her too.

The next day, Saturday, we went to Numero 2 where they had a party for Fete Saint Louis. This is the party season apparently. They had a band and dancing. It was fun except for the part where the thatched roof fell in on the tables. No one was hurt though, it was just annoying. After the party Laura’s boyfriend Jacquelin brought me home and I pretty much went to bed.

On Sunday morning I went to church at HHF with Clifford. Then he came down around noon so we could meet Marie Pierre and go to Anastazi (the beach). It was really hot, and it’s a really long walk so we decided to take taxis. I thought I had 100 gourdes but apparently at church I gave my 100 bill to the collection instead of my 50 gourdes, so when we arrived at Anastazi the taxi driver was none too pleased with me. Although, before we left I asked him how much and he said “Senkant gourdes”… 50 gourdes but apparently he meant per person and just failed to mention that detail. Marie Pierre had to give him the other 50 gourdes. The beach was nice though. It was going to storm so it was cool and refreshing. Mapi’s other friends were there so we all swam and the guys played soccer on the beach. Then the UN came and they played soccer. They are all Uruguayan and assorted other South American nationalities though and only speak Spanish. After the beach we walked alllllll the way back into town and Mapi bought us some bread and then a taxi back up to Caracolie to my house. From there Clifford walked home and Mapi came up to see the house… she is thinking about moving in here. It would nice to have a friend once Callie leaves ☹

Monday into Tuesday Callie and I went andayo out to Castillon. That is one of the farthest villages from Jeremie. It was a LONG and BUMPY ride. Towards the end it was raining and the roads were pretty hairy but we have a good car and experienced driver. First there was a post where the nurses looked at pregnant women (took blood pressure, weight, etc) and then we all headed down to the soccer championship for that area. We went in the car because Callie had sprained her ankle plus it was raining and muddy. People packed into the car though.. we had 14 people in a 10 passenger car and from the clinic to the soccer field the roads were pretty bad.

The field was nice.. although one side of it went way uphill. It was clean though and had pretty even grass, unlike Jeremie’s that is covered in litter and has dirt paths and moto tracks through it. This girl Nancy came with us from Jeremie who is a player from a different village but she wanted to see the game. She held my hand from the car to the field and told me to be careful and had her arm around me for a good part of the game. I made some little girlfriends while we were there too. This one girl whose name was something that sounded like Ketchia (Katria?) kept holding my hand and reaching up to touch my hair and face. Leaving the field after was a disaster though because people were hopping on the back of the car like it was a tap-tap (kind of the same idea as a city bus) and we would have to stop so Tifrere could get out and yell at them. I think he slapped one kid in the face too…

That night they had music and dancing at the clinic because we brought a generator. The opposing soccer team had to stay overnight because it had gotten dark so there were a lot of people there. I went to bed early because I was exhausted. There was a ton of rain and wind though… it was so loud! And people were up dancing until 3 am! The next day we got up early and headed back. I showered and headed up to work. I did a little bit of work but then went online for a little while to catch up on some emails and stuff

Wednesday into Thursday I went andayo again, but this time on my own. I went back out to Moron to a village called Terre Rouge. I went around with the health agent Maude and took pictures of houses that will be rebuilt for the Happy House program. The houses were in really bad shape. Most had thatched roofs, or didn’t even have walls. And almost none of them had latrines. There were probably 10 (out of 50) that had multiple families living in them as well. My first day with Maude included a lot of walking and sweating, but it was really good. I got a good chance to practice my Kreyol with her and her children. At her house I met her 3 children: Emmanuel Nelson, Marie Anastazia, and Samanda. They were all adorable and were so good. They were always helping and cleaning. Nelson helped me with my Kreyol too.

It was an odd experience at Maude’s. She was serving me like I was someone important, and at almost every house we went to she would ask the family what they were going to bring up to her house for me. I was like noooooo. At her house she made me so much food and juice and kept saying “sa tout pou ou” it’s all for you. I do not like being waited on like that.. it was so awkward. By the time I was leaving, her entire living room was filled with fruit and sugar cane for me to bring back with me. I told her that I wanted to share, so she kept some of everything, but not nearly as much as I would have liked. She enlisted her neighbors to come help carry things, so I had her husband carrying my backpack, her children carrying sugar cane, and her with 3 other women carrying sacks of fruit on their heads. I felt horrible.

Anyway, Maude told me she loves me and will never forget me and wants to come visit me in the United States. She told me she has no money and I told her that neither do I, but maybe some day. Marie Anastazia is now my goddaughter as well. I don’t know how I get myself into these things. I didn’t get back until after 5 on Thursday so I just came home and relaxed.

On Friday Callie and I just went into the office to do computer work and then I got to talk to Mom, Marl, and Jenn all on skype! That was exciting. Friday night Clifford came over for a little while, then Love and Sadrak came up when Clifford left and hung out and ate for a little while.

Saturday I slept in then Callie and I went to the soccer game, then we were supposed to go to the beach for a party there, but she went out to Dayere to bring a soccer team back so I hung out at home with Love and Sadrak. I was planning on going to a boat party on Sunday, but it was beginning at 6AM and I wasn’t feeling up to it so I stayed in all day and was lazy. Love and Sadrak came over from about 2 to 7 and we watched movies on my laptop after they did the dishes and fed the dogs and then had lunch. I also made them eggs for dinner. They entertain me. I texted Callie and asked her to bring me fritay home… that’s when things went terribly wrong.

Fritay is fried vegetables and meat that you can buy on the street and the put pikliz in with it which is kind of a spicy coleslaw. Well, I think the meat was bad in the fritay because it tasted kind of funky, and when Callie ate it she spit it out because she said it tasted like poo. Shortly after eating it I got diarrhea that didn’t go away for over 24 hours. It was horrible, but I took ciproflaxin and now I feel better. I lied in bed all day yesterday and most of the day today because I couldn’t really do anything else. Clifford came over around 4 today so that got me out of bed. We just did some Kreyol work then watched Bend it Like Beckham.

3 days in bed consisted of me watching stuff on the computer. I watched My So-Called Life, Arrested Development Season 1, The Hurricane, Family Guy, Run’s House, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and some other things. I was feeling realllllly homesick late this morning. I think mostly because I had been sick, and lying in bed all day doesn’t do much for a mood-boost. I think I’ll be okay though.

Finally!

I am finally here! I can’t believe the day actually came. I feel like I have spent all of this time preparing and talking about going, but I don’t know if I ever realized it was really going to happen!

The actual traveling part was kind of a disaster. I was fortunate enough to be on the same flight as two seminarians from my Kreyol class who were also coming down to HHF. I arrived at JFK at about 3:30 AM exhausted and sad, but still excited. Tom and Robert (the seminarians) got there around 4:45 and came and sat with me. We began boarding the plane on time, but then the pilot got on the intercom and said that something with our generator needed to be looked at. A while later they decided our back-up generator would be fine if they put fuel in it. Evidently they were wrong because we had to surprise land at Washington, Dulles airport in DC. The back-up generator had failed.

The landing is fine, but now we need to fix the plane. I am half-asleep for most of what goes on in the airplane at all times throughout this whole trip, by the way. Because we have been sitting on the plane for a while now, they bring out those mobile lounges to take us into the airport and they give us meal vouchers. We ate and then waited, and waited, and waited. We were told we would board a new airplane flown in by American Airlines and depart by 2 PM. At around 5 we finally board and then depart a little after 6 PM. Arrival in Miami is a mess at this point because EVERYONE on the flight needs a place to stay so we are ALL in line for meal vouchers and a hotel stay.

After landing at 8:15 we wait in line for almost 2 hours for our vouchers. It turns out we will be staying in the Doral Resort which is seemingly a 5-star hotel. However, it took until midnight for us to find the shuttle to the resort because when we called the hotel they were describing to us a blue shuttle that said Doral resort on it. It turns out to be an unmarked white van. Anyway, at around midnight we arrive at the hotel (which would have been really nice to be in 2 hours earlier…) so after a bath and a phone call I go to bed.

Three hours later we are up and getting ready to get back to the airport for our 6:45 AM flight to Port-au-Prince. THANK GOD everything went smoothly for the flight. But, (of course there’s a but with the way this trip was going so far) our luggage did not come in on our flight. We had to wait around for the next flight from Miami to receive our luggage. At least it was on there even though Tom’s was basically the last bag to come off the trolley.

The driver hired by HHF, Parice, picked us up at Toussaint L’Ouverture airport and brought us to the small airport to catch a Tortug’ Air flight out to Jeremie. On the way, we stopped at a gas station to eat and it was actually really delicious food. I got full and felt reallllllly bad about wasting the leftovers. Our short flight to Jeremie was quick and on-time. Callie arrived only about 5 minutes after us to pick us up and bring us to HHF. We dropped off Tom and Robert and she brought me to the house. I was exhausted, and wearing shorts (and shorts is never really the best option- esp. in the countryside, which I knew and had something to change into, but going back to the house was preferable anyway).

I unpacked and Callie talked to me and showed me around the house. I met her friend Jessica who works in Abriko and her friend Popo who lives close-by. Later on a girl named Naima came over. She’s from UConn med school and is staying with Bette until next Thursday. We all went down to bathe in the Grand Anse so we got moto taxis (Callie’s friends, not random taxis) to drive us down, and then walked back up. It was nice to cool down after the hot day. I passed out and then slept in the next morning because I really needed to catch up on sleep.

After lunch I went into the office with Callie to begin learning my job. She went through a lot of the soccer program files, and is going to give me a lot of computer work tomorrow. We left work around 4:30 and went to the house to get ready for a little party that a local youth group was having. The girls of ORCJC was celebrating the one year anniversary of their youth group. Now, when I say “We went home” I mean we started walking home but stopped every hundred feet so Callie could talk to someone she knew. You cannot just go somewhere in Haiti because you must stop at everyone’s house as you pass. We don’t worry about being on time here.

When we did get home, we put on dresses and headed over to the party. It was held on the roof of someone’s house and the roof was all decked out with pretty curtains as the stage backdrop and a bunch of benches and chairs. They had huge speakers and a CD player and microphone. The girl who appeared to be the MC was not shy at all and had no problem speaking in front of everyone. The same goes for all the girls who performed songs, dances, or skits.

I was impressed by how many were involved. There were moms, dads, siblings, friends and neighbors all helping out. They had cooked a feast and had soda and beer to give out. Callie and I ate before we went because we didn’t want to have to eat a lot of their food when there were other people there who needed it more. While there I accepted a Prestige and a piece of cake though, to participate. At the end they just turned on music and everyone kompa danced around the roof. I got passed to four people in one song… I guess because I’m the new girl! The first girl I danced with seemed pretty amused that she was dancing with me because she kept getting her friends’ attention and pointing at me. After the party we went back to the house and I went to bed.

Friday morning we arrived a little late to work because, once again, we had to stop and talk to people. This is good for me because I get to meet all of these people as well and start to form relationships with them. At work from 8-12 I put in education data. By the end my eyes were swimming and I could barely recognize the numbers. We took a long lunch (to talk to people as we walked home) and I put in data from 2-3:30. The computer I sit it to do work is in a grouping with other people who actually arrive to work on time and leave on time, so those computers get shut down at 3:30 even though we usually will stay much later.

So, my computer got shut down at 3:30 and Callie still had a lot to do, so I left with Naima. We went back up to Bette’s and went swimming. After that we showered and walked back down to my house. It was pouring and thunder and lightning so we hung out and watched a show on my computer for a little while. Callie and Laura got back in the rain and then Laura’s boyfriend Jacqueline arrived so everyone was speaking Kreyol. I tried really hard to pay attention, but I was so tired I decided to take a little nap. I did not get up until Saturday morning!

On Saturday Naima took me downtown to exchange money and get a phone. We went to Kay Brunell which is a nice, legit bank. Plus it has air conditioning so it was nice to be in there for a little bit. I found out I can cash my own checks with Western Union so with my stipend and my own money I should be fine. From downtown we went back up to Bette’s house and ate then went back down to the Center of Hope to meet Naima’s friend Gerald. He gave me a tour of Jeremie on his moto. It was actually pretty helpful because I was able to put things into perspective. After the tour Naima and I went to the beach. We met up with Marie Pierre who is a French girl working on the Water Project. After the beach we caught a moto back up to Bette’s to shower and eat. After such a busy day we didn’t really feel like doing much so I got a ride from Ronald back down to the house and went to bed.

On Sunday Callie and I went to the beach then to a party at this place called Vertigo. It is a club/hotel by the river. There were a lot of people and live Reggae bands there. The music was really good, but it’s hard not being able to have a good conversation with people. I can’t wait til I’m better with my Kreyol.

This week we’ve just been working at the office. I finally finished entering the data I started last week and did a little project for Better and Sr. Maryann. On Tuesday and Thursday there were soccer games that we went to. On Tuesday I met this boy named Clifford. His English is pretty good. He is 17 but he looks younger. We are gonna go to church together on Sunday, and then he is going to help me with my Kreyol… I hired him as my tutor! He also wants to teach me guitar, but for now I’ll stick with Kreyol. I am excited for tomorrow and next week—I finally get to go andayo! Out in the countryside to different villages.

Friday I am going to Moron to a post. At posts they give vaccines to children, have a handwashing station, weigh babies, check on pregnant women, etc. I loved going to the post in January and clipping and washing the little kids’ fingernails. I am glad I can be useful tomorrow. Then next week I am going back to Moron overnight to see all the houses they are going to rebuild for Kay Kontan or Happy Houses. I have to take the “before” pictures and then later go back out and take “after” pictures. By that time I should be able to get stories by interviewing the owners and pass the info back to HQ in CT.

Some observations:
-It’s sad and awkward when people ask to have your earrings or your bag or what’s in your bag.
-No one seems to really get embarrassed here.
-By no means is everyone nice here, but when you say hello, people tend to smile and say it right back. I’ve never been ignored.
-No one tries to hide that they are staring.
-I am constantly looked at and stared at. Children smile back when I smile at them or say hello back when I say hello. Other people are not so nice… It’s usually pretty easy to tell when they’re being rude so I ignore it and keep walking.
-I finally know what it’s like to be the minority and different from everyone around me.
-Yon moun se moun. A person is a person. Right?

UGH

Okay, so I literally have a 4-page Word document that I have been working on that I was going to post today. However, this computer does not recognize my document :( So I am going to try to bring my laptop to the clinic tomorrow and connect to the internet on it, then load it that way. Until then, here are some pictures of my house!

I lied. The pictures aren't working either. I know this is lame. Sorry.

Only 2 Classes Left

Big news! I am leaving for Haiti on August 4th at 5:45 AM. This will put me in Port-au-Prince at 11 so I can get on Tortug' Air at 12 to get out to Jeremie. I am nervous, but it is nice to finally have a plan as well! I still have a lot of preparations to make, but I am all-in-all ready to go.

AND there are only 2 more classes left. Friday we all have to get here at 4 for "Evalyasyon" followed by all of our presentations. Each person or group has to give a little presentation to show what we learned. I think I am going to talk about my family and what each of them do a little bit. Clearly I am not very creative, but it will work. Then after the presentations we'll have Haitian food that the professors will bring in... mmmmm.

Apparently I can send myself some stuff on the container so I don't have to fit everything into my suitcases. I'll put some books and movies and extra towels, sheets, toiletries in a box or 2 to receive once I am down there. I think I'll also send some mac&cheese.

I can't believe I am finally booking my flight... it is actually happening. Once I received the e-mail from Callie kind of trying to finalize everything, it actually hit me that I am going! I am really excited, but also terrified, sad, and really nervous. I don't want to leave everyone here, but I have made my decision, and it is something I want to do, so I need to suck it up.

UMass Boston

Hello! I have so much to tell!

I've been at UMass Boston now for a week and a half. Tonight I have my 8th class... halfway through, I can't believe it!

The 2 weeks leading up to this were a mess because everything was so mixed up as far as my housing application and class registration. The director for the course had been in Haiti for over a week, so I was unable to get in touch with him, and the housing coordinator did not receive my email asking her about my housing. Anyway, I was freaking out about everything, and did not get in touch with the lady I am living with until literally the night before I was moving in! She was understanding though, and I had no problem getting to her house and settling in. She had my room all ready for me. It has a double bed, closet, desk, and filing cabinet that I use as a nightstand. It's perfect because I am basically only there to sleep.

Last week I drove to campus every day because I was nervous about taking the T and prefer to drive just because I have always driven a lot. However, parking here is $6 a day which is ridiculous! So, yesterday and today I took the T in. With my CharlieCard it is only $1.70 a trip making it $3.40 a day saving me $2.60!! Considering my current monetary state, I'll take all the savings I can get! Last night I didn't even have to take the T home because one of my professor's gave me a ride! I am staying in Mattapan and he is 2 towns over so he just dropped me on his way home. Saved me $1.70 on my CharlieCard haha. So basically I get up between 8:30 and 10 then get to school between 10:30 and 11:30. I hang out at the Campus Center (like UConn's student union... it's very new and very nice) and do things online and then study for class. Class starts at 5 and goes until 8:30 or a little later depending on how into it we are.

Okay, so I'll start at the beginning of last week:

On Monday we all started in the same room, there were probably about 50 people and 5 professors. The professors all introduced themselves and then talked a little about the course. Then we all went through and introduced ourselves- our names, where we're from, and why we are taking the course. It is the most diverse class I've ever been in. UMass Boston is pretty much the headquarters for Haitian Studies so people travel from all over the country and world to learn Kreyol.

In my class there is a black woman from the Netherlands that was adopted from Haiti as a child and now wants to learn the language and do a documentary on some aspect of Haiti. I think she is an anthropology student. There is also an older nun from Ireland who will be in Haiti for a year beginning in September. We are going to stay in touch so we can meet up while we are both down there. There is an older guy who is a doctor from Louisville, KY. He's gotta be at least 70, and comes off as cranky, but is actually pretty silly. Then there are a few people who work for Partners in Health (if you read Mountains Beyond Mountains then you are familiar with this!) and a few women whose husbands are Haitian so they want to learn the language. Then there is a dentistry student from CA who wants to be able to use her skills in Haiti.

I always am weirded out by how small the world is. My class is no different. A girl from Pomfret is in my class, and she has met Bette (who is my contact at HHF) at a conference. One of my professors is the author of and the voice on my Haitian Creole learning CDs. I am going to get him to sign it before i leave. He knows Sister Maryann who will be my boss at HHF. There are 2 priests in my class, one of which is affiliated with St. Justin's in Hartford where they do a Kreyol mass each sunday for the Haitian community.

Okay, so after we introduced ourselves, we did a placement exam. Clearly I was placed in the beginner level. It ended up with 2 beginner level classes, an intermediate, an advanced, and one focusing on translation. Then we had our first hour of class. We did not waste any time! By the end of the first hour we knew basic greetings, how to introduce ourselves and even basic actions and objects.

Some examples:
Bonswa. Kijan ou ye? - Good evening. How are you?
Mwen rele Marissa. E oumenm? Kijan ou rele? - My name is Marissa. And you? What is your name?
Kanpe - stand
Chita - sit
Mache - walk
Tablo a - blackboard
Tab la - table
Chez la - chair

Each night we see three different professors- one for each hour. So from 5-6 I have Lionel where we go over basic vocab and review. The book we use during this hour is called Total Physical Response... we actually use our bodies and get up and walk around. We take turns telling each other what to do and asking questions so we practice vocab, pronunciation, speaking, etc. Sometimes it becomes mildly inappropriate and pretty funny. Then we have a break from 6-6:15 where we go into the hall and have a snack (or in most cases, dinner!) We take turns bringing food in so we'll have anything from fruit and crackers to fried chicken, sandwiches or veggies and hummus. This saves me money on dinner! So from 6:15-7:15 we have Patrick where we go over more cultural things and vocabulary. We use Ann Aprann Kreyol (Let's Learn Kreyol) for this part and use the exercises to learn and practice. Then we have a quick break and go back for the last hour with Joel.

Joel is the one who did the Pimsleur CDs so he loves going over pronunciation and having us repeat after him and really learn how to say it. We use Haitian Creole for Health Care with him so we learn some health terms and how to talk about the body, etc. There are a lot of good exercises we do in that book as well. Yesterday I went in for extra tutoring that starts at 3:30 and went over the verb "to be" (ye/se) because it is kind of confusing. After we went over it and I had a good grip on it, two other people from my class came in and asked the same thing. So instead of going over it all again, Joel had me go over it with them. This ended up being a great idea because it reinforced it in my mind, and I can see how their minds go in English, so I was able to help them understand a little better. When we had our last hour of class, he had me do the same thing with the entire class. I hope it was helpful to everyone! I wasn't even that scared in front of the class, and normally I have a panic attack speaking in front of people.

So it is almost 2:00 and class is at 5 so I'm gonna go have lunch, then do some reviewing and studying. I'll write more tomorrow!

I'm a Student at UMass Boston!!

I finally sent in my registration for my Kreyol class, and the application for homestay with a Haitian family while I take the class. I am officially a student at UMass Boston! In three weeks I will be starting my class and I cannot wait! I haven't heard about the family yet, but I am excited to get to know them and practice what I learn at their home with them.

So, now that it is getting closer to my departure date (which is still TBD), a lot of people are asking me about it. Here is what I know so far: I am leaving sometime at the end-ish of July. I will be working with a girl named Callie who is down there now but is leaving at the end of August. She will kind of show me everything and hand over the reigns for the Responsible Sexuality class and soccer program for adolescent girls. The soccer league is an incentive for girls to finish the sex ed classes, because typically adolescents receive little or no sex education. I'll be living in a volunteer house a little ways away from the Haitian Health Foundation offices. I do not have to pay to go down, and will receive about $100 a month for whatever I need to buy.

I have received mixed reviews on my year of volunteering. Those that have been to Haiti commend me because they know the need. However, some of the people closest to me do not understand why I have such a strong desire to go. The only way I've been able to explain it is something like this: Over the last couple years I have really gotten into volunteering- I love it. After going to Haiti this past January, I did not want to come home. I had decided a while ago that I wanted to do long-term volunteering after graduating from UConn. After my trip to Haiti I could not imagine a better place to spend a year. Now is the time for me to do it! It's not that I don't have anything keeping me here-- I am giving up A LOT having to do with the people I love-- but I do not have anything holding me back.

I do not have a job, I do not own a house, and I do not have children of my own. I do, however, have 3 nieces, a nephew, and a god-son. I will miss the first year of my newest niece's life, the first year of high school for my oldest niece, and the first year of school for my middle niece. And missing a year of my nephew's and god-son's lives will not be easy. This is one of the hardest parts for me, because these are such important years in their lives that I will be missing. 

The opportunity cost of my trip (look Dad, I learned something in ECON!!) is great but the benefits and rewards are equally significant to me. I lost opportunities for what could have been great relationships and friendships, and am leaving friendships, family, and a relationship. All of this is going to be so difficult I force myself not to think about it to save myself from tearing up in public. BUT it's only a year!! My 4 years at UConn just flew by, so I know we can all make it through one little year. 

My mom was not surprised I decided to do it once I returned from my trip in January, and I was terrified of telling dad & mum because they did not want me to go for 10 days, nevermind a year. Both ended up being understanding and supportive of my decision. Most people understand once I explain why I need to do it, but there are still others trying to work through it. Even I wonder about it sometimes, but I always come back to my original decision.

So. That's that.

check out haitianhealthfoundation.org and go to "Programs" to see more about the Responsible Sexuality program.

2 Finals Down, 2 to go.. Oh, and 1 16 page paper...

Let me start by saying I hate my writing. Yet, here I sit writing all of this, and telling everyone to look at my blog, practically begging for people to follow it (DO IT!) But it is because this experience is going to be a huge part of my life. And Haiti is important to me. And Haiti will be the focus once I start my Kreyol class at UMass Boston at the end of June, and then get to Jeremie at the end of July. These first couple posts will serve to explain why I'm going, and what it means for me and everyone around me. I don't want to get tooooo personal, but I feel like it might happen. Sorry.

So after my last post I studied a little more, ate, and went to my psych exam. Finished that in 15 minutes, then went and sat and waited for my deviant exam. I think I did okay... we'll see when grades are up! My biggest stress right now is my 16 page Haiti independent study paper. I am about halfway done, but I want it to be really good. It's about Kreyol and is actually pretty interesting... but maybe that's because I love everything Haitian.

Which brings me back to the point of this blog in the first place.

This past January I went to Haiti for 10 days and it changed my life. 7 days in Port-au-Prince and 2 in Jeremie showed me so many things I didn't even know existed. (That only equals 9 days, I know I know, but we were traveling and stuff.) Orphanages, homes for the sick and dying, health fairs. Poverty and sickness, but above all that is the rich culture, and amazing, heartfelt welcome I felt from the people. 

Long story short, at the end of the 10 days, I did not want to come home. Everyone else had a great trip and was ready to return, but all I could say and think was that I didn't want to come home. I loved having no phone and no computer... nothing. Funny, since I'm on here right now, but true.

Now I'm tired and need to get up early to study for econ and finish my paper. Joy and rapture. More on Haiti later :)